This Sunday, the Oscars come along and tell us which films matter, and which ones are basically shit. I’m going to share my choices in the various categories, I invite you to disagree, and to tell me about it.
Writing (Original Screenplay)–Moonrise Kingdom written by Wes Anderson & Roman Coppola I fell in love with this movie from scene 1. The scene that really won me over, however, was the flashback to how the kids met. Sublimely strange and sweet, just like childhood.
Writing (Adapted Screenplay)–Silver Linings Playbook screenplay by David O. Russell It gets lost a little bit in the third act, but the characters interplay in a wonderful way, and you hardly even notice that the two leads are far too apart in ages to not be a little bit icky.
Visual Effects–Marvel’s The Avengers Did you SEE this movie? I’m not talking about watching it and absorbing the plot, I’m talking pure visuals. It was beautiful, orgasmic, and just fucking amazing! HULK SMASH!
Sound Mixing–Skyfall I did not see any of the movies nominated, but with all the silenced gunfire, the sound mixing had to be good.
Sound Editing–Skyfall I honestly don’t know what the difference is between this and the previous category. So I just chose the same movie, again. Scully, Matt Scully.
Short Film (Live Action)–Henry-Yan England I don’t have any friends named Henry, and I really should change that. Perhaps this is a sign. Or perhaps not. Your move, Oscar.
Short Film (Animated)–Maggie Simpson in “The Longest Daycare”-David Silverman I wasn’t particularly fond of this short, but it’s The Simpsons, so it kind of has to win, right? Right?!
Production Design–Les Misérables Production Design: Eve Stewart Set Decoration: Anna Lynch-Robinson Probably very broadway-esque. I say probably because you couldn’t drag me to this movie.
Music (Original Song)–Skyfall-Music and Lyrics by Adele Adkins and Paul Epworth I heard this song and immediately felt the urge to run out and shoot some bad guys. Two in the chest, one in the head.
Music (Original Score)–Lincoln-John Williams It’s John FUCKING Williams. He’s the juggernaut of film scores! You can’t stop this guy!
Makeup and Hairstyling–The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey-Peter Swords King, et al. 1. His name is Swords King, bow before him! 2. Look back at #1 and bow before him!
Foreign Language Film–Amour-Austria Go read the synopsis of this movie, and I dare you, good sir, to not feel the stirrings of a tear. Now imagine actually watching it. I can’t, I won’t. I refuse to let myself cry that hard.
Film Editing–Zero Dark Thirty-Dylan Tichenor and William Goldenberg They had to edit this movie a lot, I’m sure, once they actually killed Osama Bin Laden.
Documentary Short Subject–Inocente-Sean Fine and Andrea Nix Fine I closed my eyes and I pointed. Good work, Inocente.
Documentary Feature–Searching For Sugar Man-TBD I haven’t actually seen any of the films nominated, but I did see a trailer for this film and it looks fantastic.
Directing–Lincoln-Steven Spielberg This subject, this director! How can it possibly lose!?
Costume Design–Snow White and the Huntsman-Colleen Atwood Did you see how she made Thor look slightly less like Thor? Impressive.
Cinematography–Life of Pi-Claudio Miranda Again, I didn’t see any of the nominees, but this movie looks to me like the very idea of beauty put to celluloid (or digital?)
Animated Feature Film–Brave Beautiful film, felt a little rushed, but still miles better than the competition.
Actress in a Supporting Role–Anne Hathaway-Les Misérables She won the Golden Globe, and she’s constantly taking off her top. So she’s got my vote.
Actress in a Leading Role–Jennifer Lawrence-Silver Linings Playbook She was just amazing in this, both to behold, and as an actress. Blew me away.
Actor in a Supporting Role–Tommy Lee Jones-Lincoln I loved him in JFK, so I’d love to see him win something for a historical drama.
Actor in a Leading Role–Daniel Day-Lewis-Lincoln I pretty much think this movie is going to sweep every award its nominated for, just about. The major ones, at least.
Best Picture–Lincoln You saw that coming, didn’t you?